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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day 1: Something you dislike about yourself.

This is such an easy one for me, I have been thinking about this for a while now. I think everyone has more than one thing they don't like about themselves. People are so hard on them selves, we are our own worst critics right?
The main thing I dislike about my self is I care way too much about what other people think. I am always so worried about this. When I go shopping I'll find a cute purse or something like that, that I like but won't get because I'll worry that people will think I'm weird or a nerd for having it. This has been something I really have always know I do and has always bothered me but once I got with Blade and saw that he noticed it and it bothered him I have been trying to be better about it and not care anymore. I wish I only worried about what he thought and I thought about things.
I think this all goes along with my second biggest thing... my self confidence. I am so hard on myself. I never think I am good enough in any aspect of my life. I doubt my self all the time as a wife, mother, employee, daughter, sister, friend etc. I haven't always been this way I really remember noticing it when I hit Jr. Hight. It got worse when I was about 15 or 16 and I got acne really bad. I never went and hung out with my friends or anything all I did was school and home. Once that got cleared up my confidence somewhat went up but I still doubted my self all the time. Probably the thing that hurt it the worst was when I was married to my ex husband (Evan). I truly hated myself during that time. When you are told over and over what a horrible person you are you start to believe it. Ever since my divorce I have been gaining back this confidence. Blade and my mom have been my biggest supporters. Without them I wouldn't be able to work through these things. I hope that pretty soon when asked this question I will be able to leave it blank.

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